Life is like an amusement park. You can plan your day, building yourself up to ride the big roller coaster and skipping all the long lines or you can wander the grounds with curiosity, untroubled by wait times and the chaos of others. Some people have a clear sense of what they want to do in life and what they want to accomplish, while others may get a little lost along the way. I happen to fall into that clan of people who got lost and wandered around, until one day I came across this sentence.
You are given a name and you spend your whole life making it into something.
When I saw this sentence I got an intense feeling in my chest, a sensation that was almost indescribable. My heart grew heavy, beating at full speed. It felt like some kind of power came over my body; like I was frozen and yet still able to feel all kinds of vibrations. My heart was trying to tell me something and it wouldn’t stop until my mind focused and listened. As I re-read this sentence over and over, my heart pumped faster and faster. I closed my eyes, took three deep breaths and allowed my head to catch up while my heart slowed down to a steady pulse. And then out of nowhere, it was like a wave of emotion washed over me. I was crying and then I was scared and then I was anxious. But somehow when I was overwhelmed with such intensity, I felt from within, a sense of warmth and tranquility. And that is when I could literally feel that my journey was just beginning.
Up until I felt that electric feeling in my chest, I was constantly in stress mode. I felt like I was going in circles. I started to realize that I was living my life according to social norms rather than according to me. As I started to connect with myself, welcoming all of the different and uncomfortable feelings, I started to reflect on what truly brought me happiness and what brought that grey cloud over my head. In order to reach my full potential, I knew I had to start paying better attention to what my body and mind was telling me. Little by little, I removed everything and everyone that didn’t allow me to become the best version of myself. For the first time, I started putting me first. Since then, I have explored different professions, traveled to beautiful places, experienced incredible things, made friends with strangers and spent some important time alone with my thoughts. I was always the type of person to run away and bury my feeling because the thought of being alone with my thoughts always made me feel nauseous. The process was challenging but after you start trusting yourself, being mindful becomes a part of your lifestyle.
But you can’t just be alone with yourself. You have to be open and vulnerable; you have to allow yourself to feel certain emotions that you may not want to feel or you might not know existed. Throughout this eye-opening experience, you are learning to trust yourself and you are learning to understand what your body needs instead of just what it wants. By connecting with your emotions, you grow and evolve into the person you are trying to become. Deep down you know what is best for you, but you have to be ready to listen. It’s okay if your thoughts wander to a negative place. It’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions even if you don’t understand the why. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to feel defeated. But you need to take a moment and acknowledge what it is that is trying to be said and work through it. You are your biggest obstacle. Allow yourself to be honest, to be open and to not hold back. Cry if you want to cry. Scream if you need to scream. Embrace everything that you feel because when you enter that state of connecting with yourself, you start living the life you’ve always dreamed of. I urge you to take a few moments each day to de-clutter your mind, to reset, and to just be. Breathe. Let your mind go wherever it needs to go. Even if it is just for a few moments, challenge yourself to make time for you. Once you start to feel and listen from within, the rest is just an adventure.
So I ask, what is your name and what makes your heart feel electric?
Born and raised in Ottawa, I’m currently trying to find my perfect fit in the world. I like to live my life with purpose, heart, and soul. I want to promote empowerment, encourage those to follow their dreams, and support those who need help or guidance.